How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish, [美国] 伊莱恩·玛兹丽施

出版时间

1999-10-01

ISBN

9780380811960

评分

★★★★★
书籍介绍
《如何说孩子才会听怎么听孩子才肯说》是美国家庭教育十大畅销书之一,销售300多万册,被译为30多种文字版本广泛传颂,全球父母亲子必读。该书长踞美国畅销书排行榜,长居《纽约时报》亲子类畅销书排行榜,出版20多年长销不衰。 ★中国大陆唯一授权正版中文精装本! ★美国最著名的亲子教育书系作者,送给中国父母的最好礼物——爱的技巧和训练。   “你这孩子怎么那么不听话?”面对孩子的行为做父母的常常忍不住脱口而出。是的,天凉了让加衣服就是不加,地板凉可就是要打光脚,就是不要刷牙,就是要把饭弄得满桌子都是,就是不叫叔叔阿姨,就是要把屋子弄得乱七八糟,到吃饭的点了可就是还要看电视,就是不愿意做作业……等等,全是怎么说都不听。   阅读本书的经历,将是一次学习爱的技巧与接受爱的训练的过程, 它给了你走进孩子内心世界的钥匙,指引你切身体会孩子内心的感受。通过一系列实用有效的方法,帮助你和孩子建立起一个能够快乐交流的平台,使孩子变得不同寻常地愿意与父母配合。掌握了“如何说?”“怎么听?”的技巧,就能开启孩子的心灵世界,与孩子达成美妙的交流沟通,让孩子在您的引导下身心健康发展。 Publisher Comments : You Can Stop Fighting With Your Children Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children--and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding. Now, in this Twentieth Anniversary Edition, these award-winning experts share their latest insights and suggestions based upon feedback they've received over the years. Their methods of communication-illustrated with delightful cartoons showing the skills in action-offer innovative ways to solve common problems. You'll learn how to: 1.Cope with your child's negative feelings-frustration, disappointment, anger, etc. 2.Express your anger without being hurtful 3.Engage your child's willing cooperation 4.Set firm limits and still maintain goodwill 5.Use alternatives to punishment 6.Resolve family conflicts peacefully Amazon.com How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk is an excellent communication tool kit based on a series of workshops developed by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. Faber and Mazlish (coauthors of Siblings Without Rivalry) provide a step-by-step approach to improving relationships in your house. The "Reminder" pages, helpful cartoon illustrations, and excellent exercises will improve your ability as a parent to talk and problem-solve with your children. The book can be used alone or in parenting groups, and the solid tools provided are appropriate for kids of all ages. About Author Internationally acclaimed experts on communication between adults and children, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have won the gratitude of parents and the enthusiastic endorsement of the professional community. Their first book, Liberated Parents/Liberated Children, received the Christopher Award for "literary achievement affirming the highest values of the human spirit." Their subsequent books, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk and the #1 New York Times bestseller Siblings Without Rivalry, have sold over 3 million copies and have been translated into more than twenty languages. Their group workshop programs and videos produced by PBS are currently used by thousands of parents' groups around the globe. Their most recent book, How to Talk So Kids Can Learn-At Home and in School, was cited by Child magazine as the "best book of the year for excellence in family issues and education." Both authors studied with the late child psychologist, Dr. Haim Ginott, and are former members of the faculty of The New School for Social Research in New York City and The Family Life Institute of Long Island University. In addition to their frequent lectures throughout the United States and Canada, they have appeared on every major television show from "Good Morning America" to "The Oprah Winfrey Show." They currently reside in Long Island, New York, and each is the parent of three children. From Los Angeles Times "Designed to bring adults to the level of children, and children to the level of adults, so that this happy meeting ground can truly make for harmony in the home." Book Dimension Height (mm) 206                   Width (mm) 138 点击链接进入中文版: 如何说孩子才肯学
AI导读
核心看点
  • 提供倾听与回应技巧,帮助孩子面对情绪
  • 用描述事实代替指责,鼓励孩子主动合作
  • 替代惩罚的方法,如提供选择与自然后果
适合谁读
  • 寻求改善亲子沟通、减少冲突的父母
  • 从事教育、心理咨询等相关行业的专业人士
  • 希望提升人际交往与共情能力的成年人
读前提醒
  • 建议阅读英文原版,案例更丰富且翻译更准
  • 书中技巧需结合具体情境练习,非万能公式
  • 先接纳孩子感受,再限制不当行为,勿混淆
读者共识
  • 全球畅销经典,被誉为最实用育儿指南之一
  • 方法具体可操作,能显著改善家庭关系和谐
  • 不仅适用于育儿,对成人沟通亦有深远启发

本导读基于书籍简介、目录、原文摘录、短评和书评生成,不等同于全文精读。

精彩摘录
  • "孩子:妈妈。我想吃蛋糕。 妈妈:家里正好没有了,吃点饼干吧。 孩子:不,饼干太硬,我就要吃蛋糕。 妈妈:不是和你说没有吗,你怎么这么不听话,赶紧吃,要不你就饿着。 孩子:哇,你根本不爱我……,我要找姥姥。"
  • "孩子:妈妈。我想吃蛋糕。 妈妈:蛋糕软软甜甜的,宝宝喜欢吃蛋糕,家里现在没蛋糕是不是让你不开心了?(尝试体会孩子的感受) 孩子:嗯,我就是想吃蛋糕。(态度软化了) 妈妈:嗯,妈妈真希望马上能给变出一个像屋子一样大的水果蛋糕来,好香好甜呀!(闭上眼睛,做享受状) 孩子:嗯,那样就太好了,对了,能不能让姥姥陪我去买蛋糕吃?(是商量而不是命令) 妈妈:宝宝,现在是吃饭时间,姥姥也要吃饭,要买了蛋糕回来你两都饿坏了,……,这样好不好,妈妈这有好吃的曲奇饼干,都是你喜欢的小熊、小狗…… 孩子:那就吃饼干吧。"
  • "* 第一章 帮助孩子面对他们的感受 * tips:安静专心地倾听; 用简单的词句回应他们的感受;说出他们的感受;用幻想的方式实现他们的愿望;所有的感受都是被接纳的,但某些行为必须受到限制。 (关键字:共情) * 注意事项: 1. 孩子有时候不知道他们为什么生气或难过; 2. 孩子不需要我们认同他们的感受,而是需要我们回应和了解他们的感受; 3. 所有年龄段的人在情绪低落的时候都不在乎别人是否同意,需要的只是有人能理解我们正在经历的事情; 4. 尽量去理解,即使不一定成功 5. 你应该让孩子知道你的感受 6. 用身体的发泄缓解痛苦 7. 孩子会反感自己的话被重复 8. 站在孩子的立场 9. 父母"
  • "“多吃肉,这样你就能快点长高。” “不要坐那边,坐这里,这里亮一点。” “不要试那件衣服,蓝的不适合你。” “杯子盖先放好,再拿杯子喝水。” “把瓶子给我,我来帮你拧开盖子。” ......"
  • "采用描述方法的最大优点是避免指责与推卸责任,而把每个人的注意力放在目前急需解决的问题上"
  • "帮助孩子从不同的角度认识自己的确不易,这也是身为父母最艰巨任务之一。当孩子一再不改他们的恶习时,不仅需要我们克制自己不去强化他们的负面行为,不对他们大喊“你怎么又这样!”,而且需要我们花时间制定计划去帮助孩子从角色中释放出来。 …… 有一件事我是非常确信的,那就是对我来说,最重要的一点是不能随波逐流,让大卫在自己的角色中陷得更深。我的任务就是寻找和肯定他的优点。(如果连我都做不到,还能指望谁呢?)"
  • "帮助孩子面对他们的感受。 1.安静专心地倾听。 2.用简单的词语回应他们的感受。 3.说出他们的感受。 4.用幻想的方式实现他们的愿望。 5.所有的感受都应该被接纳,但某些行为必须受到限制。"
  • "鼓励孩子与我们合作 1.描述你所看到的,或者描述问题。 2.提示。 3.用简单的词语表达。 4.说出你的感受。 5.写便条。"
用户评论
最牛、最有用的一本育儿书,吊打99.9%的同类书籍。行文浅显易懂。只要过六级,看此书毫无压力。
就我所看过的育儿书里最最推荐的 不要看中文版 中文版是精华版 要看原版各种案例和应对方法写的非常到位👍🏻读原版总是很慢,有时候拖延症拖起来实在是要老命啊,这本書和不要
Audible。感觉似乎是一本有用的书,可是阅读体验比较一般,有些地方是“哇还能这样,好像很厉害”,还有些地方会觉得“真的需要这么夸张吗?”大概是把对付各种类型熊孩子的奇技淫巧都集合在一起了,包括对普通小朋友通常不需要使用终极武器(希望杨大鲸顺利长成一个普通小朋友)。最后很大篇幅的读者来信比较无聊,Audible跳起来没有书方便,有点烦。
It offers plenty of practical strategies & examples to improve communication skills with kids. "Never underestimate the power of your words upon a young person's life. "
如何说孩子才会听 怎么听孩子才肯说
Acknowledging kids feelings; descriptive praise; blame-free language; offering more options; showing my feelings
本书第一版的发行要比非暴力沟通更早,理念相当,更注重低幼及中小学生层面的沟通,手把手教父母如何更多地关注孩子们的感受,且提供了很多简单易学,方便上手的沟通技巧。最重要的还是父母要有心真的去倾听孩子们的感受。
649.1 FAB
Ghastly written. All those imaginary fake cases of kids and parents made me wonder who would do things make conversations like that?
对职场人也很有启发,特别是需要带新人的的时候:recognize feelings, encourage autonomy, provoke problem-solving thinking, set a model, use imagination to soothe the feeling of loss and regret under circumstances beyond one's control.不过我觉得自己很快就会把书里的内容忘光,毕竟平时需要用这些技巧的场景不多。
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