书籍介绍
人们常常专注在要有爱心、避免自私自利，却忘记自己的有限和界限。他们往往会问：“对别人没界限不是很自私吗？”
“我要怎么回答那些需要我爱心、精力、金钱帮助的人呢？”
“为什么设立界限会让我感到愧疚或恐惧？”“我可以在设限后仍是个有爱心的人吗？”
想要有一个平衡健全的生活，明确的“界限”是很重要的、这是个人产权的分界线，指出你应该为哪些东西负责。它可以定义你是什和，或者，你不是什么。
界限深深地影响我们生活的各个层面。
身全上的界限：帮助我们决定，在何种情况上，谁可以碰我们的身体？
心理上的界限：给予我们拥有个人思想与见解的自由。
情绪上的界限：帮助我们处理自己的情绪，避免来自别人有害与操纵性的情绪。
属灵上的界限：帮助我们分辨上帝的间念与人个的意愿有何不同？
AI导读
核心看点
- 厘清心理界限，区分自我与他人的责任
- 学习设立边界，摆脱过度负责的内耗
- 通过圣经视角，探讨爱与自由的平衡
适合谁读
- 渴望建立健康人际关系与心理边界者
- 习惯讨好他人、难以拒绝的敏感人群
- 对基督教心理学或信仰背景感兴趣的读者
读前提醒
- 书中大量引用圣经，非信徒可能阅读吃力
- 部分观点带有宗教色彩，需理性筛选吸收
- 重点参考界限实操，不必纠结神学解释
读者共识
- 核心在于学会为自己负责，不再过度承担
- 界限知识实用，但宗教内容劝退部分读者
- 改变认知，明白说不并非自私，而是自爱
本导读基于书籍简介、目录、原文摘录、短评和书评生成，不等同于全文精读。
精彩摘录
- "The Bible tells us it is worthless to confront foolish people: “Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you” (Prov. 9:8)"
- "Codependent people bring insults and pain onto themselves when they confront irresponsible people. In reality, they just need to stop interrupting the law of sowing and reaping in someone’s life."
- "“Love each other as I have loved you” (John 15:12). Anytime you are not loving others, you are not taking full responsibility for yourself; you have disowned your heart."
- "“Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Phil. 2:12–13). You are responsible for yourself. I am responsible for myself."
- "Another aspect of being responsible “to” is not only in the giving but in the setting of limits on another’s destructive and irresponsible behavior. It is not good to rescue someone from the consequences of their sin, for you will only have to do it again. You have reinforced the pattern (Prov. 19:1"
- "1. You have the power to agree with the truth about your problems. 2. You have the power to submit your inability to God. 3. You have the power to search and ask God and others to reveal more and more about what is within your boundaries. 4. You have the power to turn from the evil that you find wit"
- "You cannot change others. More people suffer from trying to change others than from any other sickness. And it is impossible. What you can do is influence others. But there is a trick. Since you cannot get them to change, you must change yourself so that their destructive patterns no longer work on "
- "We need to respect the boundaries of others. We need to love the boundaries of others in order to command respect for our own. We need to treat their boundaries the way we want them to treat ours."
作者简介
克劳德和汤森德。他们是美国广受欢迎的讲员，拥有执照的开业心理医师，共同主持全国广播电台“新生命”广播节目，也是克劳德与汤森德传播中心、讲习会、资讯供应以及教会训练小组的合办人。 两人毕业于同一所心理学研究院，获临床心理学博士学位；在加州新港滩合开私人诊所。他们合著了许多畅销书，包括：《为孩子立界限》、《为约会立界限》。
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