An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that’s obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity.
What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face—confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships—are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, Ace addresses the misconceptions around the “A” of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy.
Journalist Angela Chen creates her path to understanding her own asexuality with the perspectives of a diverse group of asexual people. Vulnerable and honest, these stories include a woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that “not wanting sex” was a sign of serious illness, and a man who grew up in a religious household and did everything “right,” only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Disabled aces, aces of color, gender-nonconforming aces, and aces who both do and don’t want romantic relationships all share their experiences navigating a society in which a lack of sexual attraction is considered abnormal. Chen’s careful cultural analysis explores how societal norms limit understanding of sex and relationships and celebrates the breadth of sexuality and queerness.
Angela Chen is a journalist and writer in New York City. Her reporting and criticism have appeared in the Wall Street Journal, Atlantic, Guardian, Paris Review, Electric Literature, Catapult, and elsewhere. Chen is a member of the ace community and has spoken about asexuality at academic conferences and events including World Pride. Find her on Twitter @chengela or at angelache...
- 本书深入剖析无性恋（Asexuality）的真实面貌，澄清其并非性冷淡或生理功能障碍，而是一种合法的性取向。作者结合社会学理论与个人经历，批判了强制异性恋和强制性欲的社会规范，揭示无性恋者如何在充满性暗示的世界中生存，并指出这种视角有助于反思主流社会对性吸引力的盲目崇拜。
- 作者提出“性批判”立场，既反对性压抑，也警惕性积极运动中的潜在压迫。书中强调真正的性自由应包含拒绝性行为的选择权，反对将性愉悦作为唯一价值标准。通过探讨无性恋者的困境，作者呼吁建立更包容的性伦理，尊重个体在亲密关系中的不同需求，拒绝将性行为作为衡量关系质量的唯一指标。
- 本书不仅关注无性恋群体，更广泛探讨了性别、种族、阶级与性取向的交叉性。作者指出，无性恋运动与反强奸文化、反厌女症等社会正义议题紧密相连。书中揭露了社会如何通过语言和规范边缘化非典型性体验，并倡导读者重新审视自身对欲望、同意和亲密关系的认知，打破社会强加的性脚本，追求真实自主的生活。
- 适合对无性恋、性少数群体或性别研究感兴趣的读者。无论你是否认同无性恋标签，本书都能提供关于性吸引力、性取向多样性的深刻见解。它帮助读者理解为何部分人无法体验性吸引，以及这种体验背后的社会和心理机制，适合希望拓展性学知识、消除对无性恋误解的人群阅读。
- 适合在亲密关系、性需求或社会期待中感到困惑、焦虑或痛苦的读者。如果你曾因不符合主流性规范而自我怀疑，或感到被“性积极”话语压迫，本书能提供极大的心理支持。它帮助读者识别社会强加的性压力，肯定非性化亲密关系的价值，协助读者摆脱内疚感，建立基于真实意愿而非社会规训的关系模式。
- 适合关注社会正义、性别平等及反压迫运动的读者。书中深入分析了性规范如何与种族主义、厌女症、恐同症等结构性不公交织。读者将了解到无性恋运动如何挑战父权制和资本主义对身体的规训，适合希望从性伦理角度反思社会权力结构、支持多元性别表达、推动更包容社会环境的行动者和学者。
- 阅读前需明确区分“无性恋”与“性冷淡”或“性欲低下”。无性恋是一种性取向，指缺乏性吸引力，而非生理功能障碍。书中涉及大量社会学和性别理论术语，如“强制异性恋”、“性批判”等，建议保持开放心态，理解这些概念旨在解构压迫性规范，而非否定性愉悦。请勿将无性恋视为一种需要“治愈”的病理状态。
- 本书包含作者及受访者的个人创伤经历和对社会不公的激烈批判，部分章节可能引发强烈情绪反应。作者立场鲜明，强烈批判性积极运动中的有害倾向，读者需意识到这是特定视角下的批判性分析。若你认同性积极理念，可能会感到不适，但建议尝试理解其背后的结构性批判逻辑，即反对将性作为唯一价值导向的社会压力。
- 书中讨论的无性恋经验主要基于美国白人、中产阶级、受过高等教育的群体，具有特定的文化局限性。读者在阅读时应保持批判性思维，意识到不同文化、阶级和种族背景下的性体验差异。请勿将书中观点普遍化为所有无性恋者的经验，而应将其视为理解性多样性的一种视角，并结合自身文化背景进行反思。
- 读者普遍认为本书具有极高的解放性和启发性，无论是否为无性恋者，都能从中获得关于自我认同和关系伦理的深刻洞察。许多读者表示，阅读本书帮助他们摆脱了因不符合主流性规范而产生的内疚和焦虑，肯定了非性化亲密关系的价值。本书被视为理解性多样性、反对性压迫的重要读物，获得了广泛的情感共鸣和高度评价。
- 读者高度赞赏作者对“性批判”立场的阐述，认为其提供了超越“性积极/性消极”二元对立的第三种视角。大家认同书中关于拒绝社会强加性欲望、追求真实自主选择的观点。许多读者表示，本书帮助他们重新审视了自身对性、爱和关系的认知，认识到社会规范对个体欲望的塑造作用，并鼓励读者尊重他人不同的性体验和关系模式。
- 尽管部分读者指出书中存在文化局限性，且对性积极运动的批判可能过于激进，但整体评价依然极高。读者认为本书在理论深度和情感共鸣上取得了良好平衡，有助于打破对无性恋的刻板印象。大家一致认为，本书不仅关乎无性恋，更关乎所有人的性自由和反压迫斗争，是一本值得推荐给所有人阅读的重要著作，有助于构建更包容的社会认知。
本导读基于书籍简介、目录、原文摘录、短评和书评生成，不等同于全文精读。
- "The others seemed to feel a thrill of titillation (when watching two classmates kiss), but Lucid felt only bewilderment, not understanding the appeal of kissing or why anyone would care."
- "No matter how often Lucid heard whispers about the excitement of sex, they wanted no part of it. The idea of sex and everything related to sex, remained repulsive."
- "Finding the word asexuality was such an explanation of things that had already happened to me, Lucid says. “It is the first time I heard, ‘You can just not have sex,’ and that was incredibly freeing, because as a kid you hear the talk about this big scary thing that’s going to happen and how you are"
- "Asexuality has always been a political label with a practical purpose, and the more important reason I identify as ace is because it has been useful for me."
- "Aces today are not concerned with how to have sex, but we are not anti-sex either. We don’t ask people to stop having sex or feel guilty for enjoying it. We do ask that all of us question our sexual beliefs and promise that doing so means that the world would be a better and freer place for everyone"
- "我既不推崇性积极，也不排斥性消极。我支持的是愉悦——这种愉悦完全可以不包含性行为，同时我支持真正的性选择权。仅说"人人都该随心所欲"远远不够。这种陈词滥调谁都能复述，却忽视了社会如何迫使我们渴求某些事物。"
- "我是性学学者丽莎·唐宁所称的"性批判者"，既关注女性的自主选择权，也清醒认识到社会中持续存在的不平等。我们既能鼓励他人尝试新体验，也能尊重那些坦言性行为对他们毫无意义的选择。既不该因性行为极端怪异而颂扬某人，也不该因伴侣数量极少而推崇某人。值得庆贺的时刻，是当任何人竭尽所能地自主选择、摆脱压力桎梏——同时致力于改变社会政治结构，让所有人共享同样的性自由及其他自由。"
- "毫无疑问，总有人会借口无浪漫倾向来为残酷行为开脱。别上当。冷酷无情本身就是问题，与任何性取向无关。西方学院社会学家、《美国约炮文化》作者丽莎·韦德指出，约炮问题的症结不在于随意性行为本身，而在于围绕这种行为形成的冷漠文化——它鼓励人们用冷淡相待来证明彼此毫无感情。人们完全可以明确界限，在追求无浪漫关系的性行为时仍保持善意与尊重。这并非"利用他人身体"，而是通过沟通达成共识的契约关系—这正是大卫所倡导的模式。他从一开始就表明无意恋爱，但会竭力保持关注、关心他人并给予照护。"
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