爱情刽子手

[美]欧文·亚隆Irvin D. Yalom, [美国] 欧文·亚隆

出版时间

1997-12-01

ISBN

9787806179185

评分

★★★★★
书籍介绍
这并非一本教人如何获得幸福的爱情指南。作者以「我不愿做爱情的刽子手」开篇,坦陈治疗师面对坠入爱河的患者时的尴尬与抗拒——心理治疗追求光明,而浪漫爱依赖迷雾。全书十个案例,表面写情,实则逐一拆解存在的核心困境:死亡、自由、孤独、无意义。读者反复提及的,是书中那种近乎残酷的诚恳:作者毫不保留地袒露自己的怀疑、嫉妒乃至对疗效的存疑。它不提供温情答案,而是逼你直面一个诘问——当驱散幻觉的迷雾,真相是否真的值得?适合那些愿意为自己人生的处境负起责任、宁可清醒地痛也不愿沉睡地安的人。
AI导读
核心看点
  • 十个心理治疗案例,展现存在主义疗法。
  • 直面死亡、孤独、自由与无意义四大终极关怀。
  • 亚隆坦诚剖析治疗师内心,揭示咨询真相。
读者共识
  • 亚隆真诚坦率,对治疗师内心活动毫不保留。
  • 案例精彩深刻,但部分故事结局依赖外在事件。
  • 虽翻译常受诟病,但核心思想极具启发与疗愈力。
精彩摘录
  • "Betty, what's the danger in letting me matter to you? I am not sure. It feels scary, like I'll need you too much. I'm not sure you'll be there for me. I'm going to have to leave California in a year, remember?" A year's a long time. So you avoid me now because you won't always have me? I know it doe"
  • "I DO NOT LIKE to work with patients who are in love. Perhaps it is because of envy——I, too, crave enchantment. Perhaps it is because love and psychotherapy are fundamentally incompatible. The good therapist fights darkness and seeks illumination, while romantic love is sustained by mystery and crumb"
  • "My primary clinical assumption- an assumption on which I based my technique- is that basic anxiety emerges from a person's endeavors, conscious and unconscious, to cope with the harsh facts of life, the "givens" of existence. I have found that four givens are particularly relevant to psychtherapy: t"
  • "Two beliefs/delusions can afford a sense of safety: the belief in personal specialness; the other, the belief in an ultimate rescuer. The human being either asserts autonomy by heroic self-assertionor seeks safety through fusing with a superior force: that is, one either emerges or merges, separates"
  • "in bonded to anxiety, it means that one is responsible for one's own choices, actions, one's own life situation. The crucial first step in therapy is the patient's assumption of responsibility for his or her life predicament."
  • "Dave could resist assuming responsibility for his marital problems, he could not resist the immediate data he himself was generating in group therapy."
  • "Freedom not only requires us to bear responsibility for our life choices but also posits that change requires an act of will. It is through willing, the mainspring of action, that our freedom is enacted. I see willing as having two stages: a person initiates through wishing and then enacts through d"
  • "it refers to the unbridgeable gap between self and others—— note: both interpersonal and intrapersonal. There's no solution to exitential isolation, many friendship or marriage has failed because, instead of relating to, and caring for, one another, one person uses other as a shield against isolatio"
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