收藏
Boundaries - Henry Cloud, John Townsend

Boundaries

Henry Cloud, John Townsend

出版社

Zondervan

出版时间

1992-04-01

ISBN

9780310247456

评分

★★★★★

标签

心理学成长关系relationship

书籍介绍
Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle. A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible. In other words, boundaries define who we are and who we are not. Boundaries impact all areas of our lives: Physical boundaries help us determine who may touch us and under what circumstances -- Mental boundaries give us the freedom to have our own thoughts and opinions -- Emotional boundaries help us to deal with our own emotions and disengage from the harmful, manipulative emotions of others -- Spiritual boundaries help us to distinguish God's will from our own and give us renewed awe for our Creator -- Often, Christians focus so much on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limits and limitations. When confronted with their lack of boundaries, they ask: - Can I set limits and still be a loving person? - What are legitimate boundaries? - What if someone is upset or hurt by my boundaries? - How do I answer someone who wants my time, love, energy, or money? - Aren't boundaries selfish? - Why do I feel guilty or afraid when I consider setting boundaries? Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend offer biblically-based answers to these and other tough questions, showing us how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves.
AI导读
核心看点
  • 界定个人责任范围，明确自我与他人的界限
  • 学习如何对破坏性行为说“不”，拒绝过度负责
  • 理解种与收的法则，允许他人承担行为后果
适合谁读
  • 习惯讨好他人、难以拒绝请求的“老好人”
  • 在亲密关系或职场中感到被过度消耗的人
  • 希望提升自我管理能力、建立健康关系者
读前提醒
  • 书中包含大量基督教神学及圣经引用内容
  • 非宗教读者可侧重其心理学逻辑，略读布道部分
  • 建议结合具体生活场景，逐步练习设立边界
读者共识
  • 核心观点极具实用价值，能有效解决人际困扰
  • 宗教色彩浓厚，非信徒读者可能感到阅读障碍
  • 理论清晰但实践困难，需长期刻意练习才能内化

本导读基于书籍简介、目录、原文摘录、短评和书评生成，不等同于全文精读。

精彩摘录
  • "The Bible tells us it is worthless to confront foolish people: “Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you” (Prov. 9:8)"
  • "Codependent people bring insults and pain onto themselves when they confront irresponsible people. In reality, they just need to stop interrupting the law of sowing and reaping in someone’s life."
  • "“Love each other as I have loved you” (John 15:12). Anytime you are not loving others, you are not taking full responsibility for yourself; you have disowned your heart."
  • "“Continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose” (Phil. 2:12–13). You are responsible for yourself. I am responsible for myself."
  • "Another aspect of being responsible “to” is not only in the giving but in the setting of limits on another’s destructive and irresponsible behavior. It is not good to rescue someone from the consequences of their sin, for you will only have to do it again. You have reinforced the pattern (Prov. 19:1"
  • "1. You have the power to agree with the truth about your problems. 2. You have the power to submit your inability to God. 3. You have the power to search and ask God and others to reveal more and more about what is within your boundaries. 4. You have the power to turn from the evil that you find wit"
  • "You cannot change others. More people suffer from trying to change others than from any other sickness. And it is impossible. What you can do is influence others. But there is a trick. Since you cannot get them to change, you must change yourself so that their destructive patterns no longer work on "
  • "We need to respect the boundaries of others. We need to love the boundaries of others in order to command respect for our own. We need to treat their boundaries the way we want them to treat ours."
作者简介
Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend are popular speakers, psychologists, cohosts of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! radio program, and cofounders of Cloud-Townsend Clinic and Cloud-Townsend Resources. Both graduated with doctorates in clinical psychology from Rosemead Graduate School of Psychology at Biola University, and both maintain practices in Newport Beach, California. They are best-selling coauthors of several books, including How People Grow, Boundaries in Dating, Boundaries with Kids, The Mom Factor, Safe People, and Twelve "Christian" Beliefs Than Can Drive You Crazy. Dr. Cloud is the author of Change That Heal and Dr. Townsend is the author of Hiding from Love.
用户评论
看第一章的时候就有一种心灵受到冲击的感觉，那个人物所经历的一天跟我有很多地方都深深呼应。整本书读下来，很多重点内容作者都反反复复在强调。我的takeaway非常多，比如种与收的律，resentment，guilt，support group。要与自己觉得安全的人去练习，让我的生活真正属于我，让心灵得到释放。
只看了spouse和work 掃了一眼self 不喜歡裡面的宗教元素
I grew up in a country where the culture advocating fuzzy boundaries. It’s helping me understand my roots/wounds in a deeper nature. And just how important boundaries truly are and why you shouldn’t lower them for anyone in any circumstance.
一句话概括:让对方自食苦果，自己和他们划清界限。 事例举的好，书还是有必要读的。中文版把原版里几乎每句话后面援引圣经的部分给删了。
宗教放一边，这本书真是对不敢说no的老好人太有帮助了！
宗教说教太多了
good ✅
补。2017读完的边界意识启蒙书。
曾经也是个恐惧冲突、回避争吵、不知道怎么拒绝别人的人。工作之后才慢慢开始学习建立边界感。除了极少的非常专业的岗位，大部分工作其实都是在和人打交道。有人的地方就离不开人情势利，一个完全不知道这个世界有多么险恶，一味的相信人性本善的人，不是善良，是无知。那一种相信一点都不可贵，唯有千锤百炼，经历过黑暗、背叛、考验，可是仍然看得到人性里闪烁的光辉，才是对人性的深刻的赞美。
很夯实的一本书，除了有点老（毕竟年代在那…），god太多。分析底层原因的那部分给我看到茅塞顿开泪流满面…讲沟通的部分也很受用。学到最有用的一个判断逻辑就是当别人找你做什么事，但你感到不确定的时候你的答案就应该是拒绝。
你可能会关注的书籍

Zondervan的其他书籍查看全部

下载
收藏