Childhood, Youth, Dependency

这不是一本让人读得舒服的成长回忆录。Tove Ditlevsen把童年写成"一具长长的、窄窄的棺材，单靠自己出不来"，把母亲的爱写成一场需要不断表演才能换取的、随时会撤回的施舍——她做所有事，只为逗母亲笑、防止她生气。读者反复被击中的，正是这种"用愚蠢做面具"的生存智慧：一个早慧的孩子如何学会把自己藏进小丑的角色，好不被尖酸刺伤。更刺骨的是那句"女孩是不可能成为诗人的"，以及她从此发誓永不吐露梦想的整个童年。它适合这样一些人：你曾在某段关系里小心翼翼地讨要爱，曾为了不被伤害而磨平自己的棱角，或曾怀疑"唯有某件事能点亮内心"。它不提供救赎的模板，只提供一种近乎残忍的诚实——看清依赖的形状，才算开始自由。

Tove Ditlevsen was born in 1917 in a working-class neighbourhood in Copenhagen. Her first volume of poetry was published when she was in her early twenties, and was followed by many more books, including her three brilliant volumes of memoir, Childhood (1967), Youth (1967) and Dependency (1971). She married four times and struggled with alcohol and drug abuse throughout her adult life until her death by suicide in 1978.