I'm Glad My Mom Died - [美] 詹妮特·麦柯迪 (Jennette McCurdy)

I'm Glad My Mom Died

[美] 詹妮特·麦柯迪 (Jennette McCurdy)

出版时间

2022-08-09

ISBN

9781982185824

评分

★★★★★
书籍介绍
A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life. Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income. In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants. Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair. Review “A stunning memoir…[McCurdy] reveals herself to be a stingingly funny and insightful writer, capable of great empathy and a brutal punchline. It’s a document not just of all she’s endured, but also of the wisdom she accrued along the way.”—Sam Lansky, TIME “A coming-of-age story that is alternately harrowing and mordantly funny.”—Dave Itzkoff, The New York Times “Jennette McCurdy is the queen of lemonade from lemons, using her trauma to weave a painfully funny story that also illuminates the commodification of teenage girls in America. An important cultural document just as much as a searingly personal one.”—Lena Dunham “Jennette’s road to finding herself—removed from the expectations of her mother—is impressively funny. She fuses nuanced relationships, complex grief, religious whiplash and Hollywood trauma into a bold story with a specific comedic voice.”—Jerrod Carmichael “How can a book be so sad and also so funny? It's an art, and Jennette McCurdy has mastered it here. I’m Glad My Mom Died is hysterical and heartbreaking and fascinating all at the same time.”—Jenny Lawson, New York Times bestselling author of Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things and Broken (in the Best Possible Way) “I'm Glad My Mom Died is furious, sad, brave, knowing, honest, heart-wrenching, and utterly compelling. McCurdy writes with a keen insight and startling compassion. Whether showing how dysfunction can seem normal to those most affected, the torture of eating disorders, or the mindfuck that is child stardom, McCurdy brings readers deep into the milieu so often hidden from outsiders. This is a beautifully crafted coming-of-age story as fearless as its author.” —Lauren Hough, New York Times bestselling author of Leaving Isn’t the Hardest Thing “Jennette McCurdy’s book is a coruscating picture of her life as a child actor, devastatingly honest and with great understanding of the psychology and emotions operating at a deep level. It’s a riveting read, entertaining and very touching.”—Hayley Mills, New York Times bestselling author of Forever Young “Jennette’s career as an actor was simply a character in a much more important story. She is a natural writer with a wonderful sense of humor. Her story is heartbreaking with a nice balance of hopeful. I could not put this book down.”—Laraine Newman, original cast member of Saturday Night Live and author of May You Live in Interesting Times “[An] explosive debut…insightful and incisive, heartbreaking and raw, McCurdy’s narrative reveals a strong woman who triumphs over unimaginable pressure to emerge whole on the other side. Fans will be rapt.”—Publishers Weekly (starred review) “McCurdy asks readers a question: When and how does one rid oneself of the cage created by others and walk freely? Her stunning debut offers fierce honesty, empathy for those that contributed to her grief, and insights into the hard-fought attachments and detachments of growing older.”—Booklist (starred review) “Delivered with captivating candor and grace.”—Kirkus (starred review)
AI导读
核心看点
  • 童星詹妮特揭露控制型母亲带来的身心创伤
  • 直面厌食症、酗酒等成瘾行为与康复历程
  • 以黑色幽默笔触书写原生家庭的窒息与和解
适合谁读
  • 关注原生家庭创伤及母女关系议题的读者
  • 对童星成长内幕及好莱坞生态感兴趣的群体
  • 正在经历心理疗愈或寻求自我认同的读者
读前提醒
  • 内容涉及虐待与进食障碍,心理敏感者慎读
  • 作者文风直白犀利,部分段落可能引发不适
  • 建议结合心理学视角理解其复杂的哀伤层次
读者共识
  • 文字真实残酷,对控制型父母的描写令人窒息
  • 黑色幽默化解沉重,展现作者惊人的疗愈勇气
  • 部分读者认为叙事流水账,但情感共鸣强烈

本导读基于书籍简介、目录、原文摘录、短评和书评生成,不等同于全文精读。

精彩摘录
  • "劳拉说妈妈虐待我。我的整个人生,我的整个存在都是围绕着这样的叙述展开的:妈妈想给我最好的,妈妈做什么都是为了我最好,妈妈知道什么对我最好。就算以前我会心生怨恨,母女之间会有隔阂,但我总能控制住它们、遏制住它们,这样我就可以带着这个完整无缺的叙述继续前进,我觉得它是我能活到现在的关键。 如果妈妈真的不想给我最好的,不想做对我最好的事,不知道什么对我最好,那就意味着,我的整个人生、整个观念、整个身份都建立在错误的基础上。如果我的人生、观念、身份都建立在错误的基础上,那直面这个错误的基础就意味着要摧毁它,从头开始重建一个新的基础。我不知道该怎么做。我不知道没有了妈妈影子的笼罩,没了妈妈的需求、渴望和"
  • "I feel like the world is divided into two types of people - people who know loss and people who don't. And whenever I encounter someone who doesn't, I disregard them."
  • "Why do we romanticize the dead? Why can't we be honest about them? Especially moms. They're the most romanticized of anyone. Moms are saints, angels by merely existing. No one could possibly understand what it's like to be a mom. Men will never understand. Women with no children will never understan"
  • "I needed that time, those years to develop as a child to form my identity, to grow. I can never get those years back."
  • "Her death left me with more questions than answers, more pain than healing, and many layers of grief. The initial grief from her passing. Then the grief of accepting her abuse and exploitation of me. And finally, the grief that services now when I miss her and starts to cry. Because I do still miss "
  • "她是那么开心。这一刻我也很开心。是的,让妈妈开心感觉很棒,觉得自己能做好一件事也很棒。即使那件事有时会让你很难受。即使那件事给你带来很多压力。即使那件事让你紧张。但有时觉得自己能做好一件事就是很棒。"
  • "检查结束时,我整个身体会觉得如释重负。我意识到,妈妈开始检查的那一刻,是我第一次觉察到自己身体的存在。这太离奇了……被检查时,我似乎游离在身体之外,身体像是一具躯壳,我与它脱节了,只存在于思想中。我的小镇大街、梦幻乐园、蟾蜍先生的狂野之旅。"
  • "相处久了我就知道,虽然我很希望他的夸奖有意义,但我不能轻信他,因为明天他可能就会当面辱骂我。被夸奖的感觉有多好,被辱骂的伤害就有多深。与他相处,我每一刻都提心吊胆。得在情感上迎合他。与他相处和与妈妈相处的感觉很相似一战战兢兢,一心想讨好他们,生怕说错话、做错事。和他俩待在一个房间我准吃不消。"
作者简介
Jennette McCurdy starred in Nickelodeon’s hit show iCarly and its spin-off, Sam & Cat, as well as in the Netflix series Between. In 2017, she quit acting and began pursuing writing/directing. Her films have been featured in the Florida Film Festival, the Salute Your Shorts Film Festival, Short of the Week, and elsewhere. Her essays have appeared in HuffPost and The Wall Street Journal. Her one-woman show I’m Glad My Mom Died had two sold-out runs at the Lyric Hyperion Theatre and Hudson Theatre in Los Angeles. She hosts a podcast called Empty Inside, which has topped Apple’s charts and features guests speaking about uncomfortable topics. She lives in Los Angeles.
用户评论
想起Will I Ever Be Good enough?自恋型母亲恐怖的控制欲,女儿成长的主要目标就是希望妈妈满意,妈妈把女儿看作自己生命的延续而非独立的个体,促使了女儿的self-sabotaging。从厌食症到催吐,母亲对丈夫的万般嫌弃,对女儿恶毒的人身攻击,写的太诚实,我们这边的成长环境读此书一如对书名的第一反应,不大能适应。复杂母女关系的真挚记录,让我们看见relationship的复杂与深刻,不是一个匿名贴袒露,而是写成一本书,且goodreads的2022年度票选memoir,各大杂志、报刊年度书单皆有收录。孩子需要的是父母,而非朋友,试图通过跟孩子的亲密关系来弥补成人友谊的缺失,不仅会造成孩子早熟,最主要的弊端是剥夺了孩子跟同龄人建立友谊的机会。
I can see why she wants to pursue writing. This book is close to perfection. Soooooo worth the hype!!!
弃书。。。sorry,无法共鸣,反思也不够深刻。母女关系太复杂又无法挣脱
4.5/5 偶然在Kindle电子书的页面发现了这本书 承认第一眼被标题吸引到 第一次读一本以前没听说过的明星的回忆录 读的时候太让人窒息了 这样的母亲真的很难让人称为母亲 很让人心痛 很高兴看着作者一步步走向Recovery 要是描写这部分的篇幅再多一些就更好了
Gurl I’m glad yo mama died as well!!! 虽然写得很简单,但是这个情绪和情感太坦诚直接了,这才是真正好的memoir/autobiography该有的样子。希望jennette的writing career可以take off,太擅长捕捉和描述那些细微的,转瞬即逝的情绪了。
普通工薪阶层出身,控制狂易怒狂母亲和没有存在感的父亲,完全活在母亲的支配下,进入母亲为她挑选、自己却不感兴趣的演艺行业,为保持身材节食到后来发展成不可自控的暴食症。她的工作生活情绪等等似乎永远处在母亲、导演、制作人、食物的控制之下,但最后母亲癌症终于去世,辞掉了演艺的工作开始写书做播客,在心理医师的治疗下也逐渐摆脱暴食/催吐的恶性循环。回过头一看,经历了这一切后,好家伙她才刚30岁。看她最后一段描写和Steven的恋情时,她说她爱Steven,对此我是绝不相信的,一个从小到大没被真正爱过的人是不可能有爱别人的能力的,最后不出所料在Steven深陷毒瘾之后离开了他。给四颗星,是因为第一次读自传,觉得自传挺有趣,让读者得以深入又简短地了解作者的几十年,从别人的人生故事里看到自己?
读完很沉重的一本书,想到那么多迪士尼和nickelodeon的童星陪伴很多普通的儿童度过童年,却要遭受很多完全无法曝光的bully对待。Jennette把自己的成长经历剖析的明明白白,这种勇气太牛逼了,很为她高兴她能找到自己真正喜欢干的事情,退出演艺圈,寻找自己。
语言不难,情绪难,两岁开始就要被母亲责备,那么小就开始看母亲脸色,为了母亲高兴无法违抗,做自己不喜欢的事情,厌食,被剥夺了正常的童年和青少年。母亲去世,作者的生活出现了各种问题,才第一次去治疗,历经艰难,决定掌控自己的生活,放弃演出,开始写作和导演。 作者幽默风趣,观察细致,描述生动,像在看情景剧。作者的爷爷在她小时候痛苦被台词的时候跟她说,小孩子是不应该担心家庭的。母亲更像是一个孩子,不断对着女儿索取爱,女儿要不停地委屈自己证明自己爱母亲。这本书告诉我们,不是所有的母亲都爱孩子,不是所有的母亲都知道正确的爱孩子。
Absolutely worth the hype. Brutally honest and incredibly raw. It's tough growing up with a narcissistic mom who lived vicariously through her daughter. I love Jeannette’s writing style - she's so eloquent and her writing flows beautifully.
可能书的结尾还是进行时 感觉收尾有点仓促 healing过程没有小时候的回忆那么有细节 听到作者妈妈写的邮件时真的有被trigger到 / 感觉在明星里写的memoir中可以拔高个
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