"We never know which lives we influence, or when, or why. Not until the future eats the present, anyway. We know when it's too late."
"Probably I would just die here, in a past for which a lot of people probably felt nostalgic"
"There's nothing like TV when it comes to eroding a regional accent"
"Afternoon twenty minutes of lying on my back, straight as a poker, and staring up at the ceiling, I went into the bathroom to take a leak. As I watched the urine splash into the bowl, I thought: That's processed root beer from 1958."
"Here is one of the great truths of the human condition: when you need Stayfree Maxi Pads to absorb the expectorants produced by your insulted body, you are in serious fucking trouble."
"That's right, buddy. You bought yourself a dime root beer this afternoon. You also put Carolyn Poulin back in a wheelchair"
"“Sarcastic people tend to be marshmallows underneath the armor” “Explanations are such cheap poetry.” “I know life is hard, I think everyone knows that in their hearts, but why dos it have to be cruel, as well? Why does it have to bite?” “Humans were built to look back; that's why we have that swive"